Cold Spells/Episode transcript

This is the episode transcript for "Cold Spells."

Zelda: Well, it's the first day of spring. Do you know what that means, Link?

Link: Sure do! It means love is blooming. (gives Zelda a flower)

Zelda: Oh, how sweet! And are you feeling strong and brave and noble?

Link: You bet!

Zelda: Good! Because it's time for spring cleaning. This castle needs to be scrubbed from top to bottom, and you're going to help.

Link: Aw, princess!

Zelda: No argument! (throws Link a mop) Start mopping, my hero. I'll come back later to see how you're doing.

Link: (mopping) Aw, c'mon! Hah, cleaning. If Zelda thinks she can order me to mop this place, she's got another thing coming. I'll stand firm, I won't knuckle under, I'll look her right in the eye and--my, heh--I'll pretend to be sick. (sneezes)

Spryte: Bless you, Link! Are you feeling ok?

Link: Oh, sure, I'm ok. I'll get my mopping done as best as I can. (sneezes) Even though I have a cold.

Spryte: Oh dear no! You must rest, Link. You sound terrible! Poor thing...

(in Link's room)

Zelda: What a pile of garbage. A pig's sty! Link's corner is disgusting!

Triforce of Wisdom: Orderly ways do not make one brave, and neatness does not a kingdom save.

Zelda: But still, it offends my royal nose when I must smell these stinky clothes! Let's get some air in here. (opens window, a Moby rushes in and pushes Zelda back to Link's bed) A Moby! Doesn't Ganon ever quit? (hits it with a nearby jar and it lands near Link's pile of clothes. Zelda pushes its head in further, causing the Moby to get dizzy from the smell and it flies out) Tell Ganon that next time I'll stick his head into the pile! (lies in bed) Phew!

(Link comes in)

Link: Zelda!

Zelda: Link!

Link: Oh, boy! Smooching time! (rushes to Zelda, who dodges him)

Zelda: Don't try that again, buster. And aren't you supposed to be cleaning the kitchen?

Spryte: Don't pick on Link. He's sick!

Zelda: I'll say.

Spryte: I mean he has a cold!

(Link sneezes)

Spryte: See? He's weak and delicate!

Zelda: He seemed pretty energetic a minute ago.

(Link groans)

Spryte: No, he's sick and needs rest and he needs loving care.

Zelda: Ok... I still think he's faking it, but he can stay in bed. You, however, need to get back to work. We've got a lot of cleaning left to do. (Moby was still listening near the window, goes to Ganon)

(in the Underworld)

Ganon: Cleaning... Time for me to clean out the castle and get that Triforce that will make me ruler of all Hyrule! (snaps fingers, a giant Lowder appears out of the Evil Jar) As for you, back to the Evil Jar! (sends Moby back in)

(at the castle courtyards)

Spryte: Ugh, this is heavy! (throws a doormat that she was carrying) That's that dust out of the doormat! (uses magic to clean it)

Ganon: Hmm...that fairy could be just the distraction that I need.

Old Woman: Oranges! Get your fresh oranges! They're indeed the cure of what ails you!

Spryte: Oh, I'll take one! I have a sick friend.

Ganon: You will soon be sicker. (zaps Spryte)

Spryte: Oh!

Old Woman: Something wrong, dearie?

Spryte: No, I just feel...full of energy all of a sudden! (instantly flies away, then comes back) Hey! Thanks for the orange! Maybe this will help poor Link feel better.

Link: (practicing in his room) Take that, Ganon! And...this!

Spryte: Oh, Link? Are you awake?

Link: Uh-oh, I'm supposed to be sick. (rushes into bed) Uh, come on in, Spryte.

Spryte: I brought you an orange to help you feel better. I'll be back later, bye!

Link: Thanks, Spryte. (after Spryte leaves) So who wants to get well? I'm gonna keep playing sick until this stupid cleaning is over.

Zelda: Spryte, where are you? Make this bed, mop the floor, wash the walls, dust, and no sneaking off to see Link.

Spryte: Yes, your Highness. (sticks tongue out after Zelda turns around) Work, work, work. Well, that's what magic's for! (uses magic) Whoa! What happened? My magic has become so powerful! (mops begin to use themselves, buckets being to fly and dump water everywhere) What's happening? (a blanket attacks her and Spryte screams)

Link: That sounded like Spryte!

Ganon: My magic is working just as I planned!

Zelda: I could have sworn I heard a scream. Huh? (sees buckets flying, hears Spryte scream) Spryte!

Link: I'm coming, Spryte! (opens door, water flows out) I should have stayed in bed!

Zelda: Oh, no! (Link and Zelda are flushed out)

Link: Is that what they call a royal flush?

Zelda: Spare me the jokes. I think Ganon is up to something.

Link: Yeah, you may be right. Better take these. (shows small bows and boomerangs)

Ganon: (climbing to the Triforce room using the Lowder) Hah! Now while those two are distracted, I'll grab the Triforce! (gets Triforce) The Triforce of Wisdom is mine! When combined with my own Triforce, it will make me ruler of all Hyrule! And that will be the end of Link and Zelda!

Spryte: Ah! Stop that! Help! (a duster and a flying bucket are following her)

Link: My gosh!

Zelda: My room!

Spryte: Do something!

(Link zaps the duster and Zelda shoots an arrow at the flying bucket. The blankets and mops then begin to attack Link. Zelda takes out a boomerang from her pouch and defeats one of the sheets)

Zelda: And now to mop off. (throws a boomerang at the mops and defeats them) How's your cold, Link?

Link: (trapped in the blanket) It's gone, ok? Now will you get me out of here? (Zelda taps the blanket with the boomerang) Whew, what was that all about?

Zelda: I don't know, but I'm about to find out. Spryte!

Spryte: Yes, Zelda?

Zelda: What happened here?

Spryte: Uh, well, I cleaned a doormat outside and then I came in here to do my cleaning magic, and everything went crazy!

Zelda: Ganon!

Link: The Triforce! (enters his room) Oh no, Ganon got the Triforce!

Zelda: Nice job, hero.

Link: Hey, I was sick!

Zelda: You'll be sicker if we don't get that Triforce back, I personally guarantee it! Let's go!

Spryte: This is terrible! I caused all this trouble, and now Link and Zelda are risking their lives. I have to go help them!

(outside the castle)

Ganon: (to Lowder) Can't you go any faster? (looks back to see that Link and Zelda are following via horse) Blast! They're coming!

Link: He's heading for an underworld entrance!

(Ganon heads to an underworld entrance)

Zelda: Ganon is heading down to the underworld?

Link: I know a shortcut.

Zelda: This better be good. You remember what happened last time we tried one of your shortcuts.

(Link finds an underworld entrance)

Link: Ladies first.

Zelda: Now I KNOW it's a trap.

Spryte: Wait for me! (enters Underworld before the entrance closes)

(As Link and Zelda are walking in the underworld, a tree branch grabs Zelda)

Link: Don't worry, I'll handle this! (Link hits branch and Zelda falls)

Link: Ha ha ha. (tree branch grabs Link)

Zelda: Ha ha ha. I suppose I better get you loose. I guess.

Link: Hurry up, I'm getting squashed! (Zelda frees him with an arrow, then Link and Zelda fall down a trap)

Spryte: Link, Zelda, wait!

(at Ganon's lair)

Ganon: There, the two Triforces side by side. Nothing stands in my way now! (hears Link and Zelda fall) Hmm...we have visitors.

Zelda: Some shortcut. (Zelda and Link are trapped in a large glass container)

Ganon: Well, what have we here?

Link: Ganon! (shoots a sword beam but bounces around the glass container)

Ganon: Very good, Link. Do you know any other tricks?

Link: Lemme out of here and we'll see who laughs last.

Ganon: Strong enough to hold even the most impetuous hero. Too bad you won't be around long enough to appreciate its finest qualities. (whistles and calls a Gohma from one of the cells Dinner time!

Link: Stay down, I'll handle this.

Zelda: Where have I heard that before...

(Gohma tries to attack the heroes but the glass container is in the way)

Ganon: No, Gohma, no! Reach down from the top! (Gohma reaches down from the top and grabs Link's sword)

Link: Let go, or I'll make crab cakes out of you!

Spryte: Link's in trouble! Maybe my magic will do something! (shoots a beam that causes Gohma to let Link out of container)

(Link shoots various sword beams at Ganon)

Link: Hah! He's a dancing fool!

(Gohma begins to try to attack Link, but he dodges Gohma just as Ganon shoots fire from his fingertips, which causes for him to defeat his own monster)

Zelda: Spryte, zap the holding jar!

Spryte: I'll try...! (uses her powers to shatter jar. Zelda takes out her bow and shoots an arrow at Ganon, but it doesn't defeat him instantly)

Ganon: You'll regret that, princess! (throws fire at Zelda, but she dodges and instead it hits an Underworld wall, which causes for the Underworld to begin to collapse)

Link: Zelda, Spryte, let's get out of here!

Zelda: Wait, if we can get the other Triforce...! ''(tries to reach for Triforce of Power)

Link: No time! (grabs Zelda as well as Triforce of Wisdom)

(back at the castle)

Link: All well's that ends well. It will keep Ganon busy for a while, cleaning the wreckage in his throne room.

Spryte: It sure was a mess. Well, at least we get rest for a while.

Zelda: That's what you think. It's still spring cleaning time, and we're starting with MY room.

Link: But I have a cold coming on...

Spryte: Me too!

Zelda: Get moving...