Quest for the Potion of Power/Episode transcript

This is the episode transcript for the "Quest for the Potion of Power" episode.

Narrator: Across the vastness of Videoland on the magical world of Hyrule, years have passed since the fall of the evil wizard Ganon, and peace reigned throughout the land. 'Till one dark day, rumors spread that the evil Ganon would one day rise again! (sky turns dark and a group of Moblins begin to head towards the town of Rauru, causing all of the Hylians to run away in fear)

Narrator: While at the Palace of Power...

(Gameboy comes through a Portal)

GameBoy: Begin exercise maneuver.

(Duke comes through a portal as well)

GameBoy: (sneaks behind Duke) Prepare to reverse game action (pokes Duke, and GameBoy as well as the dog jump back through the portal)

(Simon Belmont is sitting down reading a magazine)

Princess Zelda: (appears in a giant monitor) Hyrule calling the Palace of Power. We are in need of a hero.

Simon: Simon Belmont, vampire hunter at your service, your loveliness. Not only am I tall, blond, and handsome, I'm quick on the draw, light on my feet--(Game Boy and Duke push Simon into a plant as they come out through a portal. Duke chases Game Boy)

Zelda: Very impressive, Belmont, but actually, I'm looking for Captain N.

(Kevin and Princess Lana come in through a set of double doors)

Kevin: Did somebody call my name? Oh, wow! You're Princess--

Princess Lana: ...Zelda! Is something wrong?

Zelda: Nothing we can't handle, Lana, with a little help from Captain N.

Kevin: I live to help beautiful princesses. (bows)

Lana: Heh, you never bow like that for me.

Kevin: By your leave, your highness.

Lana: Be off with you, my captain, but be home in time for dinner.

Game Boy: Program in place to inspect new environment.

Kevin: Ok, Game Boy, you can go. Don't blow a microchip.

(Duke runs next to Kevin and barks)

Kevin: Aw, not this time, fella, someone needs to help Lana hold down the fort.

Simon: Yes, some of us have more important to do than running off to play hero.

Lana: Simon, what are you doing in that plant?

Simon: Um...pruning the leaves, of course!

Lana: Kevin, Hyrule is an exciting world, but it's also dangerous. Please, be careful.

Kevin: Aren't I always?

(at the North Castle)

Kevin: This is awesome! Me, meeting my favorite video hero! (Link and Kevin shake hands) You're a real video legend where I come from, Link. Hey, what happened to your leg?

Link: Oh, it's nothing. Pulled a muscle dodging boomerangs. Goes with the territory, you know.

Kevin: Yeah.

Link: So, Captain N, is this the famous Zapper I've heard so much about?

Kevin: (spins the Zapper around on his finger) The one and only. But hey, call me Kevin! All my friends do.

Zelda: (gets up from her chair) Ahem! You two heroes can pat yourselves on the back some other time. We have important business!

Link: Oh yeah, right, Ganon!

Kevin: Ganon? I thought you wiped him out for good!

Link: So did I. But we just heard a rumor that someone's trying to bring him back.

Kevin: Wow. You got any clues?

Zelda: Only one: that they're searching for a magic potion that will restore his power. WE'VE gotta find it first.

Link: Of course, I don't really NEED help. But Zelda insisted. (swings sword)

Zelda: Link, you know Ganon's creatures have vowed to get revenge on you for defeating their master.

(in Mother Brain's lair, Mother Brain was watching the heroes all along)

Mother Brain: This is perfect! I couldn't have planned it better myself. Those two idiots of mine won't have to search for the Potion of Power. Captain Nice Guy will lead them right to it.

(King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard are in a swamp)

King Hippo: Aw, this is what I get for following your stupid directions. I'm gettin' water logged!

Eggplant Wizard: W-well, so what? Look at my fingers. They're all pickled.

(Hippo and Eggplant stare at each other angrily when Mother Brain appears)

Mother Brain: I didn't send you fish-heads to Hyrule to have a pool party!

Eggplant and King Hippo: Mother Brain!

Mother Brain: You were expecting Donkey Kong? Where's my Potion of Power to wake up Ganon?

Eggplant Wizard: Well, uh--

Mother Brain: Nevermind! Just get over to Rauru Town and follow Captain N. Get me that potion, or your names are 'Mud'!

(a snake rises from the swamp water, and Eggplant and Hippo run away screaming)

(Link, Zelda and Kevin are walking through a deserted Rauru Town)

Kevin: Where is everybody?

(A woman is seen walking in front of them)

GameBoy: Human person sighted.

(They follow after her)

Zelda: Excuse me--

Woman: (turns around and screams in fear)

Zelda: Don't be afraid. We just need your help finding the Potion of Power.

Woman: Please, I know nothing! (runs away. A few seconds later, she is heard screaming, and Link, Zelda, and Kevin run in her direction)

King Hippo: (Hippo and Eggplant are both dressed up as citizens) There they go. C'mon!

(A Moblin is pointing his spear at the woman)

Moblin: Tell me what you know, or else!

Woman: I told you, I know nothing!

(as the Moblin raises his weapon to hit the woman, Link's voice is heard)

Link: Moblin! Release the woman!

Moblin: So, we meet again, Link! Only this time you'll pay for destroying our master.

(Game Boy gets in front of the woman)

GameBoy: Human life function endangered.

(The Moblin summons another four Moblins out from hiding, and Link readies his sword)

Kevin: Mind if we even up the odds?

Link: Sure! Three to five sounds about right.

(A Moblin heads in Zelda's direction, but she gets out her bow and shoots an arrow at it, defeating it. Another Moblin approaches Kevin, and although he dodges it by doing a backflip, he trips and is at the mercy of the Moblin's incoming attack, but the Moblin misses. Game Boy then sneaks from behind and whacks the Moblin on the head. A Moblin tries to attack Game Boy but Kevin shoots it with the Zapper. Meanwhile, Link is fighting another Moblin)

Link: You use like you could use a fencing lesson. (easily defeats the foe and then approaches the Moblin Leader) Ready to try your luck?

(the woman sees her son off in the distance)

Kid: Mother! (tries to run towards his mom but the Moblin leader captures him) Drop your weapons! (laughs)

(Zelda and Link drop their weapons, but Kevin does not)

Moblin leader: C'mon, you too! Drop it!

Kevin: Here you go! (throws it in front of him and as the Moblin is distracted, he throws a blanket on top of him, allowing the kid to escape. Link uses this opportunity to zap the Moblin. King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard had been watching all along).

Woman: Thank you for saving my son, kind sir. Please, take this as a reward. It's a map to an ancient desert palace. (hands him the map) There lies a Golden Key that will unlock the Potion of Power you seek.

Kevin: Thank you, ma'am! (folds up the map)

Link: Maybe I should take that. I know the terrain better than you do, Kevin.

Kevin: Sure, Link. I'm here to help you

(at the Parapa Desert)

Link: We're almost there, I can see the palace up ahead!

(a giant Geldarm rises from the ground and strikes the heroes, sending them back with its powerful blow. Kevin then quickly gets out his Zapper and strikes the foe, instantly defeating it.)

Link: Nice move! Where did you learn that?

Kevin: Nah, at my high school gym class!

Link: Right. C'mon, we'd better keep moving.

(King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard come out of hiding)

Eggplant Wizard: C'mon, let's go! (a huge rock flies in their direction)

King Hippo: Wah, a huge rock!

Eggplant Wizard: Take this! (uses wand to transform the rock into a tomato, and splashes on their face)

King Hippo: Bah, I hate tomatoes.

(at the Palace entrance, Link sits down in a nearby rock)

Kevin: What are we stopping for? The game's just getting exciting!

Link: In case you haven't noticed, this isn't a game! (Link shrinks his shield to place it in his pouch)

Kevin: Hey, I didn't mean anything.

Link: (gets up) Forget it. Let's go!

(inside the palace, three creatures are quickly heading in their direction, but Link zaps all three of them with his sword and goes ahead to defeat two Stalfos. A Mace Thrower then knocks Link's sword off his hands only to get his mace knocked off by Kevin's Zapper, leaving Link to finish it off. Zelda gives Kevin a kiss on his cheek, which angers Link. The group then take an elevator down to the room where the Golden Key is located.)

Link: There it is!

GameBoy: Golden Key! Golden Key!

(the Golden Key and a parchment are encased in glass)

Zelda: Look, that parchment must tell us where to find the Potion of Power. So, how do we get them out of there?

Kevin: Easy. This table just needs a little remodeling.

Link: Save your energy. I'll do it. (jumps on the table and shatters the glass and picks up the parchment and key. The room then begins to shake and the middle of the table begins to crack.)

Kevin: Get back!

(from the cracked table comes out Horsehead)

Link: Horsehead!

Horsehead: Who dares to steal my Golden Key?

Zelda: That key belongs to the kingdom of Hyrule.

Horsehead: Silence! (throws morning star at Zelda but she dodges it and gets out her bow. She shoots an arrow at Horsehead but it does nothing)

Link: Stand back, guys! (sheaths sword)

Kevin: I just can't stand here and watch!

Zelda: No, Kevin. Link knows what he's doing.

(Horsehead throws its morning star at Link again but misses. Link does a Jump Attack, only to be hit by Horsehead and gets knocked back, losing his sword in the process)

Horsehead: You are too puny and weak for Horsehead.

Link: Ow...!

(Horsehead raises his weapon to strike Link)

Zelda: Link!

Link: Ahhh!

Horsehead: Prepare to meet thy fate, intruder.

(Kevin uses super speed to push Link out of the way of Horsehead's mace)

Kevin: How 'bout you preparing to eat Zapper, Horseface! (shoots at the ceiling, causing it to collapse on top of Horsehead and thus defeat him)

(Link is lying on the floor)

Zelda: Link, are you alright? (Kevin tries to help him get up but Link brushes him off, indignantly)

Kevin: Sorry you had to eat dirt, pard, but I just remembered: Horsehead's only vulnerable in one spot - on his head.

Link: Oh, yeah, right. Guess I forgot. (walks away shamefully to pick up his sword)

Kevin: Hey, it could happen to anybody under that kind of pressure.

Zelda: I see why Lana depends so much on you, Kevin.

Link: Yeah. Right. (picks up his sword from the ground)

Kevin: Ah, it was nothing any other game master wouldn't do.

Link: Anybody besides me interested in where this key fits?

(Kevin, Zelda and Game Boy go over to look at the parchment)

Link: "The Golden Key to the Golden Door leads across to the island shore."

Kevin: (takes map) I've got it! It's the Island Palace. I even know a shortcut through a secret tunnel.

Link: (takes map back) So do I. C'mon.

Kevin: Hey, what's bugging Link?

Zelda: I don't know. He's never acted like this before.

(at a graveyard)

Kevin: This place sure looks a lot creepier in person. (a monster is heard growling)

Link: That sounds like a Moa! There it is! (zaps a tree) No, over there! (zaps another tree, which Hippo and Eggplant were using to hide). They're all around us!

GameBoy: Insufficient data. Insufficient data.

Zelda: I don't see anything. You're pushing too hard. Relax.

Kevin: No, Zelda. Link's right. (a large group of Moas appear overhead) Get ready, guys. The name of the game is "Eyeball"!

(Link, Zelda and Kevin defeat three Moas)

GameBoy: Initiating defensive game action. (defeats two Moas)

Link: (running, with Kevin and Zelda behind him) Hurry! The tunnel entrance is right around here someplace!

Kevin: My map from home would sure come in handy about now.

Link: I could find the tunnel with my eyes clo--ahhhh! (falls down a hole into a tunnel)

Zelda: Link!

GameBoy: Recommend future search with open eyes.

(Kevin, Zelda and Game Boy jump in)

King Hippo: Well, it sure is dark down there. You wanna go first? (turns around to see two Moas)

Eggplant Wizard: Hey, Blimpo, I'm over here! (Hippo and Eggplant run away screaming)

King Hippo: I've got a better idea. Let's take a boat!

(near the shore)

King Hippo: Hey, Eggbreath, you're sitting the wrong way!

Eggplant Wizard: Uh-uh. You are. The island's behind you.

King Hippo: Then let me sit over there. I get seasick riding backwards.

Eggplant Wizard: Wait, you're rocking the raft! Yaaaw!

(both fall into the water)

Eggplant Wizard: See what you did?

King Hippo: Aw, shaddap and swim. (both start swimming towards the Island Palace)

(inside the palace, the group is taking an elevator down)

Zelda: I can hardly believe we made it! Now, which way, Kevin?

Kevin: What do you think, Link?

Link: You're the hotshot game master, why ask me?

Kevin: If my memory's on target, if we open that door--

GameBoy: Request acknowledged. (heads towards the door) Prepare to open door?

Kevin: Game Boy, no!

(a monster comes out from behind the door and attacks Game Boy, destroying a statue and causing a bottle to fall from inside the statue. Link then shoots a button on the ceiling to close the door.)

Link: Nice move, Game Boy. Did Captain N teach you that one?

Kevin: Hey, go easy on him. He's just learning.

Link: Yeah, and he almost got us wasted! (confronts Kevin)

Zelda: Hey, c'mon, guys. We're here to find the Potion of Power, remember?

GameBoy: (looking at the bottle that fell from the statue) Potential energy source detected.

Kevin: A Bottle of Magic. Good work. This could come in handy.

Link: Who needs magic when you've got brains?

(Kevin shakes his head, and the group continue to go deeper into the palace)

Link: See? I found it. The Golden Door. (runs up to it with the Golden Key in hand)

Kevin: Careful, Link. This could be a trap.

Link: Well, we're not gonna find the potion waiting out here. I'm going in. (inserts the Golden Key in the keyhole and the door opens, prompting the heroes to walk in to the statue-infested room)

Kevin: Whoa! These statues are awesome! (an Iron Knuckle statue comes alive as the heroes walk past it)

Zelda: Look! We made it in time! That must be the Potion of Power!

(Link and Kevin both walk up to the Potion of Power)

Link and Kevin: I'll get it!

Iron Knuckle: I am the guardian of the Potion of Power!

Kevin: Whoa, that was no statue! That is Iron Knuckle!

Iron Knuckle: He who desires its power must first defeat me!

(both Link and Kevin ready their weapons)

Link: Move it, you're blocking my shot!

Kevin: And you almost blew it last time, remember?

(Iron Knuckle begins to charge in their direction. Link gets out his shield and Kevin shoots the Iron Knuckle with his Zapper to no effect)

Kevin: Try knocking him off his horse!

Link: I don't need you telling me how to handle this, sorehead!

(Iron Knuckle plows right through Link and Kevin, knocking them back)

GameBoy: Danger, danger, danger!

(Zelda turns around to see that Hippo and Eggplant have taken the Potion)

Zelda: Link, Kevin! They're stealing the Potion of Power!

Kevin: Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. What are you doing here?

King Hippo: Just what it looks like, Captain Ninny.

Eggplant Wizard: And now, we're gonna to restore Ganon - just like Big Momma Brain ordered. (both exit the room)

Zelda: We've gotta stop them! (is suddenly grabbed by Iron Knuckle)

Link: He's got Zelda! (zaps the Iron Knuckle, but it doesn't affect him) Okay, Kevin. Let's try it your way. This is going to take two of us.

(both Link and Kevin shoot at the Iron Knuckle, defeating the horse and knocking the enemy on the ground. Zelda is freed and hides behind Kevin while the Iron Knuckle sheaths his sword)

Kevin: This'll be a shot of a lifetime. So make it good.

(Link, Zelda and Kevin shoot at the Iron Knuckle, eliminating it. Meanwhile, Hippo and Eggplant are still escaping from the palace, with the heroes running behind them)

King Hippo: So long, suckers! (a part of the bridge connecting the shore to the palace collapses)

Kevin: Oh, man!

Eggplant Wizard: Thanks a bunch, fellas! We couldn't have done it without you.

Link: This is my fault. I acted like a jerk because you were such a whiz kid on my turf.

Zelda: Now we'll never get past Ganon's creatures in time to stop them.

Kevin: Oh, yes, we can. We're awesome when we work together.

Link: Instead of against each other.

Kevin: Game Boy. Warp to the palace and bring back the N Team.

(Game Boy goes through a portal to the Palace of Power)

(in Ganon's lair)

Ganon: (as an innocent, small pig) Give it to me... Give me the potion.

Mother Brain: Hurry and give him the potion!

Eggplant Wizard: Yeah.

Ganon: (reaching for the potion) Give...me...the potion...!

Zelda: (with the rest of the N Team) No! Stop!

Mother Brain: Hurry! Do it now!

(Ganon drinks the potion and begins to transform into a bigger, stronger and more grotesque-looking pig)

Ganon: Link, how nice to see you again. And you brought your friends for my coming out party!

(ground begins to shake)

All: Oh no!

Simon: If you're trying to scare me--(a crack opens beneath his feet and widens)--you're doing a good job!

(Ceiling begins to collapse as Kevin reaches for his Zapper)

Link: Forget your Zapper. He's too powerful. We're gonna have to fight fire with fire.

Kevin: I gotcha. The magic bottle Game Boy found. (takes out magic bottle and pours contents on Link's shield) I don't know what it does, but I sure hope it works.

Ganon: No one can withstand the power of Ganon. Videoland is mine!

Mother Brain: Wait a minute! I don't like freelancers. You're supposed to be workin' for me.

Ganon: Ganon works for no one. (sends a shockwave that knocks Mother Brain over on her side)

Kevin: Take your best shot, Ganon! (Ganon increases his size, becoming a monster of epic proportions)

Ganon: He who dares to defy Ganon will pay the ultimate price! (sends a fire beam at Link, but his magical shield deflects it back to Ganon. Mother Brain, Eggplant, Hippo and Ganon are all then sucked in by a giant vortex)

Kevin: That reflect magic is awesome stuff!

Link: I'll get you some for your next birthday.

(the N Team cheers)

Zelda: We did it! We saved Hyrule, thanks to you! (kisses Link on the cheek) And you, the best team of heroes ever! (kisses Kevin as well)